Friday, December 08, 2006

This Depraved Life

Mrs Donkey’s away and I’m back here holding the chilly fort … which means I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. No restrictions, no protocols. So, if I wanna drink strong, black, thick-as-treacle coffee at 11.30pm, I can (Mrs Donkey hates coffee, she HATES me banging-on about it all the time and she definitely doesn’t like me talking about it at dinner parties – it’s a long story; some people dig on wine, others porn, but me, it’s coffee …. and it might be fair to say that I’m a bit obsessive).

But Mrs Donkey’s off in France, so if I want, I can write coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.

Hee haw – yeah, that felt pretty good … let’s go again. Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.

Ha ha, the freedom! Donkey needs no baby-sitter! Donkey’s his own Donkey – so while Mrs D’s away, it’s been a lot of coffee, and a lot of Blogging, and lately, there’s been a bit of TV thrown-in (hang-on, is it just me or is this starting to sound just a little bit sad?).

So each night I’ve been working late, getting home, shaking up some high-class grub, banging out a wicked-strength espresso, and lately I have been sitting down at 9pm to flick through the channels on the Teev to catch-up on what that Crazy Commodore is doing to poor old Fiji, and also to check-out what schlock the two movie channels are bashing-out … and here’s where things start to become unstuck for this timid, barnyard beast of burden.

A little while ago, some schmuck programmed the Star World channel so that it sits directly between Star Movies and HBO. This means that when I’m flicking between the two movie channels at 9pm, I tend to cop bits and pieces of that Gawd-awful Jennifer Love Hewitt show, the Ghost Whisperer. Now I haven’t ever watched a whole episode ‘cause it basically looks really bad, but I generally, unwittingly watch the opening sequence, which is the bit where some ghost-child or ghost-bride with fangs, eyeballs hanging out, screaming maw or whatever flashes up on the screen - all flying hair, sunken eye sockets and claws - and this is the last thing I see (and remember) before I flick it onto AusTV to catch the Pacific correspondent, live from the action (‘cause by then I know that the choice of movies is deplorable).

From there, I basically settle comfortably into enjoying the nightly thrills, spills and intrigues of Australia’s farcical foreign policy in the Pacific, and there I remain, quite content for a few hours, what with my steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee.

At about 11.30pm, the box goes off and I have a read. I then happily take a shower, and get ready to turn-in. Off goes the light, and I lay back to think about my day and my love, over there in France, living it up with all those hot French boys … and then it happens. Two cups of coffee in three hours, mixed with paper-thin walls and strange, creaking doors and cupboards coming from the house next door, followed by the arrival of an unshakable mental picture of screaming, eye-less, faceless, bleeding, angry ghosts from the 45 seconds that I saw of the Ghost Whisperer, and that’s it – I’m officially done with the dark for the night!

For two weeks now, I have slept with the fluorescent light on so that the ghosts can’t come out of the cupboard, and with my MP3 player banging out happy, all-night reggae on full volume so that I can’t hear the creaks from next door, and the bedroom door firmly locked and bolted as only the most secure fire-traps should be.

Each day at work I’m so tired as to resemble a Tim Burton-esque walking corpse (another week of this and I might even get a part in the season finale of the Ghost Whisperer!). I’m exhausted, and am having trouble staying awake at work – what am I going to do? I need to wake up … a strong coffee should do the trick…




Shit, it's that bloody Casper again ... better break out the Bob Marley tunes... Pic: Google images

9 comments:

Mrs Donkey said...

Wow, in France this "add comments" page comes up in French!

Donkey, if it meant I could be with you right now I would gladly listen to you talk about coffeeeeeeees all day long. I might even drink one with you too.

A bientot and big donkey kisses,

Mrs Donkey
xxxxxx

Stewart Sternberg said...

Is there anything quite like driving to work, window open to allow in a stream of cool air while you slap your face? Leaning forward, opening eyes as wide as possible, wrenching the jaw from side to side. Must...stay...awake.

There is something about mornings.

J said...

So this is what they call True Love.
:)

sabrina said...

Aiyo so sweet la you.

Do you really sleep with the lights on cos you're afraid?!! I do that too especially if i am all alone in a hotel room *shudder*

DonkeyBlog said...

Hey Sabrina,

Of course I sleep with the light on - you should know that EVERYTHING I say on my Blog is true! *sly, evil, yet mysteriously alluring grin*

No, actually, I still get pretty scared of the dark sometimes, but it's often associated with external factors like stress at work or in relationships, and ofcourse, coffee.

Sometimes I do think there is a relationship about ghosts and "presences" and the environment I'm in. I often only get chills and dreams in some places, usually old, man-made places. I never, ever got these feelings in the Pacific, where there was always a feeling of time moving along ... rather than some element or presence that was stuck ... ah fuck it, I better write a post on this, explain it better.

Anyway, I'm off to UK on Sat, so dunno if I'll get a chance to comment any more this yr. Let me wish you all the best for Christmas, Hannukah or whatever yer poison. I've loved getting to know you this yr and receiving your warmth through your writing and comments (even blistering heat, sometimes *grin*).

Hee Haw, Donkey.

DonkeyBlog said...

Mr Sternberg - that sounds more like the old days of driving to work with a hang-over ... don't quite have that kind of stamina any more!

J - yep, I think so. I'm a true-love Junkie, and I only have one, reliable supplier.

sabrina said...

Likewise Donkey. It's been such a joy reading your blog....I must say that it certainly brightens up my day which is why i wish you would post more often!!! :)

A Blessed Christmas & A Smashing New Year to you and Mrs Donkey!

'See' you next year!

Nurse Blonde Vigilante, RN said...

I have been known to sleep with the lights on when I'm scared.

Do you get Medium over there? I'm sure you do. You should watch that. I, personally, think it's fab.

DonkeyBlog said...

Cakey - sounds scary ...think I'll give it a miss. Only moments before I slipout the doorfor London - your comment a great Chrissy Pressie - Cheers!