A creative kick in the Ass

It’s been a pretty slow week in Blogland! Many’s the site of normally voracious Bloggers which haven’t seemed to have moved past week-old posts entitled, ”Blimey!”, or “Crikey!” or “Struth!”.

So is it the very tragic and sad demise of the Hunter o’ Great Reptiles that’s got everyone finger-tied, or is there some other explanation for this lack of the usual spontaneity that you’re all so famous for?

As I sat there snivelling in front of this weekend’s Marathon Tribute on Animal Planet, I got to wondering … why does he have that part in the middle of his mullet? … but also, I wondered, does creativity breed creativity?

Last week, because Saving the World HQ was keeping me way too busy during the day, and Kahlua was ungraciously demanding my attention in the evenings, I was a bit limited in my ability to log onto the Blogs of all my faves (that’s you guys), but when I did, I thought that Blogger must have again gone down like the three dollar whore it is! It was the same everyday - no one was writing anything! Here I am, I have recently been introduced to a world which is full of inspiration and creativity; one in which people from all different backgrounds and experiences, from all over the shop, feed off each other’s ideas and experiences and spit them back out at each other bigger, shinier and better than ever (apart from some sites, of course), but during this last week, everyone … really everyone, seems to have gone underground.

Is that the answer, then? Are we all so competitive that we can only produce when there’s the chance of one-upping the other? Were our lives so dull last week that we think we’ve got nothing to say, and because we’re so narcissistic, we don’t wanna show that our lives aren’t as exciting as we like to have everyone think? Well I’m here to tell you, people - You’re lives are WAY more exciting than mine, and I need to live mine through yours. So stop snivelling, pull the Thesaurus out from under the short table leg and get to it! I want drunken escapades, one night stands (or is that one nights stand?), burying the mother-in-law under the stairs, sleeping with the boss, train trips, drug busts, new dogs, baked muffins, Aljazeera, split jeans, burps at work, toothaches, underpants vending machines, dreams about bathroom mould, Chlamydia (actually, I don’t want Chlamydia but you know what I mean), Boris Pasternak, armed hold ups, ultra marathons, dodgy hotel rooms, outrageous breaches of political correctness, nose hair explosions, saucy nurses, lonely pot plants, landslides, lollipops, burst sewerage pipes and fluffy pink bunnies! AND I WANT ‘EM NOW!